I looked at imanzahraa (my lil sis) i watched everything she did. i looked at her face. Kulit putih gebu, buku mata lentik, bibir cantik. she's so cute and insecure mode turn on. I just cant wait to see her grow up. masuk tadika, masuk sekolah rendah and yada yada. Aku dengan dia berbeza, i know. So i hopes that she hates sports just like ifah (mybestfriend) so that kulit putih gebu dia tu tak bertukar jadi macam kuali cam aku. I dont want her to feel insecure. Cause its fuckinggg erg ergh ergh how ah nak cakap, i dont want my adik rasa apa yg aku rasa.
U know, its hard to accept the fact that my face looks like nigga. u know nigga? yah its me. Susah. kau tak tau aku rasa apa. so shut up. Let me explain it first. Bila nak pakai tudung kena pilih tudung yang "SESUAI DGN WARNA KULIT" u know what i mean. for those yg kulit putih melepak macam dinding or brown memang soooooooo lucky. I just cant, ah ah insecure again. nak pakai tudung colour apa pun still lawa. But me? ............. Hmm sad husna is sad.
Rindu zaman sekolah, rindu rindu rindu. I dont give a fuck how i look. Memang aku cakap kau. selekeh tahap apa aku dulu. skrg aku gelap en? kau tak tengok dulu? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGI GELAP. tapi, entah tak kisah langsung. aku pelik lah kenapa makin besar makin nak kisah pasal personality ni. I mean dulu, aku keep on my mind "tak cantik takpe, hati kena bersih" sebab aku rasa hati lagi penting .tapi bila besarr ni aku rasa duadua sangat penting. kekemasan kena nak jaga. tudung senget sikit aku dah FRUST . sebab tu prefer pakai selendang. bawal cam apa tah. eh eh lari topik dah ni. Bila keluar sikit, baju mesti kena gosok, komot sikit pun takboleh, bedak pun pakai..Rasa nak diri cantik sebab nak ada pakwa lah apa lah. peliknya waktu aku sakai macam tu pun ada orang nak but now sibuk nak jaga kecantikan pehal. eee gelinya gelinyaaa huwa huwa huwa i want the old me back n_n can ah? but i know it wont happens.
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Ungrateful person goes to --> Nur Husna. Stupid me for being stupid. understand? Yah, bodoh kerana aku tak pernah nampak nikmat yang Allah bagi dekat aku. Aku patut bersyukur dilahirkan punya dua pasang mata, hidung, mulut, telinga yang sempurna, badan semua sempurna cuma aku...aku yang tak tahu bersyukur. And for those yang asyik rasa insecure yadda you guys should stop. Kalau rasa diri kita ni tak cantik lah tak hensem apa lah, ingat yang kita tak suka ni ciptaan Allah. Dia yang cipta. Kenapa nak pertikaikan right? jgn buat benda bodoh macam aku buat. and talked bout i want to be beautiful cause i want to have a boyfriend? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA bengong nya aku. gila bengong lah. if he/she loves u he/she will love u just the way u are. no matter how selekeh you are, there's someone who will surely look at you as if you're the most perfect creature ever existed. So stop trying to be someone you're not. be unique, be special and the most important is BE YOURSELF !!!!!
So so so so, as a conclusion we should be grateful dgn apa yg kita ada sekarang. Remember this sekelip mata je Allah boleh tarik nikmat yang dia beri. So be grateful. Say Alhamdulillah! : -) Allah hears us. Pahala pun dapat. As easy as that. Alhamdulillah for everything. Thank you Allah
Goodnight readers :-) (HAHAHAHHA MACAM ADA ORANG BACA JE HUSNAAAAAAAA)
